Beauty Through The Broken Glass: Their Broken Past
by xhecticbankaix
Summary: One shot! Miranda and Andy find out what they really mean to one another. But it isn't all happy endings. Femslash. etc.


_**A.N: **I disclaim all the characters mentioned etc. :) My first shot at writing for this fandom, really nervous because it's the first thing I've properly written in around three years. HUGE case of writers block! This is a song fic to Eyes Set To Kill – Beauty Through The Broken Glass. Haven't got a beta so s'cuse the badness, any volunteers let me know :)_

**Beauty Through The Broken Glass:**

**Their Broken Past**

Andrea Sachs was not usually one to go out and get drunk at some random bar. In some random street she couldn't actually remember the name of. However this was a special case. A rather noteworthy moment in time. Something she was sure, she had the feeling, that she would remember for the rest of her life. Therefore Andrea was not one to care and just drank all the same.

Reason being for her little 'lonesome' outing was in itself a memorable moment. Given that after a year of being free from the dragon lady she had found her again. Accidental of course, but intentional was her behaviour.

See, Miranda Priestly was no normal woman. Controlling, cold, business-savvy? Most likely. Desirable? Of course. But partner material? Not likely. Considering her track history, there was indeed room for improvement in that department. Yet Andrea, well what could she say? How could she react when all she had dreamt of during her tenure at Runway was to be in said dragon lady's arms. Of a relationship with the woman. A relationship which she had figured was one sided, something she literally had imagined to keep herself sane as Miranda drummed off her demands toward her. As Nate became restless. More so when Nate had confirmed her itch.

"_You know, in case you were wondering... the person whose calls you always take, that's the relationship you're in. I hope you two are very happy together."_

That sentence although full hate at the time became full of hope to Andrea. Nate's words, from that moment, had echoed in her head continuously, like a poison, a drug. She fed from them. Her stomach had churned not in worry, but in longing and not for Nate but for Miranda.

To Doug and Lilly the break-up between their friends had been rather unsettling. Of course they were to know that Andrea spent rather literally most of her time at work or with her work, whether it be out and about or in her home. That was their downfall, their friends knew this. Yet still, there was something they could sense but no one could quite put their finger upon it. Maybe it was the fact that Andy had taken the split so well, and that she seemed so fine that even herself was blind to see that outside of her 'career' she had no vitality, she had poured everything into Runway and was losing her friends. Losing her life, and not just her social one...

To Andrea her closeness to Miranda was soothing, with Nate out of the picture things seemed to be running better, there was more trust between the two. However she was unsure if that trust was real or another part of her imagination. By now it was hard for her to distinguish between the two. Her world was just one big blur sometimes.

Paris came along, and with it heartache for both Andy and the woman of her desires. Even now, looking back, the girl regretted walking into Miranda's hotel suite that night. Seeing her so unnerved. So vulnerable. Hearing what she had to say, having the woman open up to her. It was the first push of three away from her. It was something that Andrea hadn't noticed at the time, but now wished she had done.

Steven left Miranda, _"__Snow Queen drives away another Mr. Priestly."_ It was all Andrea wanted, to comfort her, to hold her. Maybe if she had been anyone else but Miranda's second assistant that would have happened. Sadly it did not. Andy blocked it out and tried to forget.

She slept with Christian Thompson.

She found out the plan that Irv had devised to replace the editor. It was funny how when trying to forget the woman Andrea's passion toward her, her will for her, would become stronger, even within some rather compromising moments.

Andy tried to save her. She tried. But Miranda knew. Yet Miranda had noticed her determination. It was then that her blur became crystal clear, when that evening Miranda had told her how she reminded her of herself. Of her getting what she wanted no matter the cost. An Emily. A Nigel.

Andy's heart broke then, she didn't want to be like that. But deep down she knew...she was. There was no choice but to leave and turn her back upon it all, for so far she had lost track of loosing herself. It was frightening to think of what more could have happened if it wasn't for this eye opener.

She watched Miranda, her goddess, her source of longing, look frantically for her. As the camera lights flashed illuminating her silver hair. Andrea just smiled. It was funny that still now her want for Miranda still was strong, and all it would take was just one word and Andy knew she'd go running at the drop of a hat again for her.

Which brings her to the bar. To the drink in hand and the light headedness that follows.

Finding the dragon lady was one thing, but slaying her desire for her was another. Andrea Sachs had let slipped vaguely but nevertheless obviously, to Miranda of her feelings. Of her wants and needs. Miranda had listened, the one time in her life Andy hoped she hadn't she did, she heard every word, every syllable. There was no reversing the irreversible.

It was on her way to her car when Miranda had rather physically bumped into Andrea Sachs. Roy had been stuck in traffic a block from Elias Clark. There had been some predicament with road works or something ... but to Miranda it was still incompetence none the less. To say the least she had been annoyed, but to then fall over whilst on her way to her car. To trip in her four inch Prada heels almost braking her neck never mind dirtying her new Dior trousers. Well that was just the icing upon the cake.

Unfortunately it wasn't until she composed herself and stood a little shakily upon the pavement again, when she realised that frankly that cake must have been absolutely mammoth, with cherries and other numerous sugary artefacts upon the top. Given that someone she certainly did not wish to see again stood right before her nose. With her doe eyed innocence. Pale skin and red lips akin to Snow White herself ( as Miranda had often thought, though would never admit doing so). Her eyes glued to her causing a small humiliated blush to frame Miranda's cheeks. It was An-dre-ah, of all the second assistants she had ever known, she just _had _to bump into _this_ one.

The only assistant she had let herself become attached to, emotionally that is. Again she would never admit it but Miranda Priestly had a soft spot for the girl. Something close to love. Compassion, tenderness? Yes.

The brunette seemed to mumble and apology, she held her head low as if to be ashamed. In actual fact it was Miranda that felt so. So ashamed that she had to show some of her real emotion for the girl by apologising herself also, extending her hand to Andy, helping her up. Offering the girl a ride.

To her surprise Andrea accepted the favour.

It was a short car journey. From Miranda's behalf not many words were spoken. It was not that she did not have an interest in the girl's life, it was actually the opposite from that. She felt beyond curious. She felt beyond interested. She knew deep down she _needed_ to hear what Andrea had to say, needed to know how she felt, what she had been doing, where she stood in her life now, if she stood in it at all.

Therefore between the silent nods of acknowledgement about Andy's rambling on about her old friends, her work at The Mirror, and eventually her real reason for leaving Paris, Runway and ultimately the editor herself, Miranda had listened intently. Her expression softening toward the girl, she actually smiled. A soft small smile.

It was the first smile she had meant in a long time. It was emotion from a heart of ice. It was then Andy realised what she had said.

Moments later the brunette had taken off at pace in panic down the pavement after bailing out of the car. Miranda did not pursue her, although she felt the familiar ache in her chest watching as Andy walked away from her yet again. Still this time there was hope, there were feelings, that she knew of, and by god Miranda would find her again. She'd find her. Tonight ...

_**Glass hailed from the sky tonight.**_

_**I couldn't hide to save my life.**_

"Another double bartender!" Andy barked slamming down her tumbler upon the counter, five dollars beside it to pay for her drink. She'd never really drank proper spirits before, it was usually a glass of wine, champagne maybe if she had been at one of Runway's benefits, but that was one thing and whisky was another.

The bar man poured another drink of Jack Daniels into a fresh glass. Andy took the drink from him as he looked at her surprisingly sadly, "You know three quarter's of the bottle has gone already."

Andy had simply shrugged downing the golden liquid, "Well I may as well have the rest," she smiled placing her glass down again, this time twenty dollars covering her drink next to it. The man just sighed inwardly knowing it was a shame for a young woman to get drunk alone, but keeping his nose out. He put the money in the till leaving the bottle and a fresh glass by Andy's side watching over her silently concerned from the other side of the bar.

"Anything to drown the pain," the brunette slurred her eyes brimming as she lifted the top of the bottle to her lips swigging from it. Her delicate hands tipped the empty glass over as she began to toy with it, contemplating, wondering. She wanted to cry but felt ashamed. Even in this back yard pub, even if it was just herself, and the bartender. Her chest wretched as she thought of Miranda and she could've sworn she felt her heart break.

Miranda had searched most of Andrea's area of Manhattan. Her neighbourhood. The local haunts that she knew of. Even the subway stations and convenience stores. She'd asked around, or rather had Roy ask for her and there seemed to be no hope.

It was like a game of hide and seek, lost and found, she was a walking missing person's ad and what made it worse was that she hadn't gone 'incognito' as planned whilst in her hurry, and there was that same old voice in the back of her mind telling her that by tomorrow she'll be spread across page six again.

Not that she was bothered by that right now, she just wanted to see Andrea, no scratch that she _needed_ to see her. And yes, to all those who had asked her, it _was_ a matter of life and death! At least apparently, at this moment in time.

"Yeah sure I seen that girl, she was outside The Dog a couple of blocks away. Thought she was a bum, threw her some change," the man who spoke was big built. Unshaven. Arms full of tattoos and scars. Not exactly what you'd think a people person, at least in Miranda's eyes. Though luckily she hadn't been the one to stop him, but right now she felt nothing or no one could scare her, she was terrified enough already about Andrea's well being.

Roy put Andy's picture back in his pocket and nodded thankfully. He'd heard of the bar just didn't know exactly where it was, "Got any directions?" he asked the guy.

By this time Miranda had noticed Roy was speaking to someone and approached him cautiously, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up with the odour from the man he spoke with, stale booze and sweat, she tried not to wince, "Sure, head straight up this road, take the second right and then it's two doors up."

Miranda glanced at Roy nodding slightly. This whole night ... day was so not her. The guy still stood there and Miranda turned to him, "That's all."

_**Standing drenched from open wounds.**_

_**You took my hand, and pulled me through.**_

She was numb, not just emotionally but physically also. Barely able to realise that she had nothing. Her bag was gone and with it her money, keys, phone and everything else. Her shirt was completely missing and her trousers were torn at the top. She felt like she'd been hit by a lorry, then a steam roller and maybe a stampede of wild boars afterwards. Her head throbbed and gingerly she touched her hand to her head brought her fingers back to see red, blood red. She passed out again, brown hair clinging to her wound like a bandage.

"An-rea-ah ..."

She groaned, "Bad dream ..." Andy was half expecting to wake up at any point now, shooting upright in bed with a cold sweat. Like after every bad dream she had. Like every dream she had with Miranda in it. Yes, that was going to happen wasn't it?

"Roy ring 911 again and demand them to tell me how long they will be! So much for rapid response, is there nobody in New York City capable any more? Do I strive for such an unachievable goal?"

Miranda kept a tight hold of Andy's hand trying her best to sound as composed as she could. Although all of her actions and efforts in finding Andy thus far had probably ruined that already, and most certainly her tears now would. Seeing her like this upon the floor. In all honesty it was more than Miranda could handle … really.

"'R-Randa?" Andrea stuttered slightly. She could see a vague outline of the editor but her world was still a blur, but this time it was off of alcohol, and maybe from being hit across the head with her own whisky bottle.

"Don't worry you're safe now," the editor spoke breathing in deeply so her voice didn't break. She sounded rather stoic, but her pitch was different. She sensed she was showing feeling, worry, doubt. She wished for Andy to know this, just not for her to pick upon the negatives, there'd already been enough negativity between them.

"I always feel safe where you are," Andy whispered from her heart, her eyes closing slowly but a small smile painted upon those plumb ruby lips. They glistened slightly in the moonlight, Miranda observed closely and prayed that it was not blood. Her own lips descended upon them, and tasted the unfamiliar salty liquid, her suspicion was confirmed.

Fortunately for them both the ambulance pulled up with haste from around the corner. And although she was at breaking point with worried and regret, Miranda never left Andy's side. She stayed strong and rode with her to the hospital leaving Roy to deal with whatever that needed to be dealt with.

_**I want to give you everything.**_

_**I'll give you my all because you gave me:**_

_**You gave me your lips**_

'4:07am' the digital clock upon the small waiting room wall shone red numbering into her clear blue eyes. They'd been glazed over with hurt and tiredness for some time now. It had been two hours since they'd arrived here. Miranda hadn't been allowed into the emergency room with Andrea, no matter how much she demanded. It was a waiting game.

It wasn't fun.

Roy sat with her, he had packed a bag for her and took the girls to their grandmother's. To Roy this was a job, he'd been in the driving business for over ten years now but when he stated for Miranda Priestly all his work ethics had gone out of the window.

He was more attached to this woman than he had been any other employer. Not by choice nor fondness but he knew the ins and outs of her life. His friends he found were other employees of hers, her housekeeper, the assistants, a certain Andrea Sachs. He was terrified too, although it didn't show. It was his friend's life on the line, and the only person who had stood out to him. The only one he knew that was different, the one who could save Miranda from becoming a total iceberg and lightening up, loving and caring. He had no choice but to inwardly laugh imaging that.

"Ms. Priestly, you can see her now," a soft voice called from the nurse who stood by the doorway to the waiting room. Miranda got up, Roy nodded at her as a sign he would wait (not that he had much choice). She followed the petite woman into a room, with machines and wires, making noises and beeping, each and every one hooked up to Andrea. Her Andrea.

She gave a sad smile seeing her in such a state but was inwardly glad that she was alive. It was the most emotion she was actually capable of, most she'd actually felt in years.

"Ms. Priestly your friend is very weak. We've had to hook her up to machines to help her breathe, she wasn't fairing too good when she was brought in. We've managed to stabilise her but the best thing she needs is plenty of rest. You can stay here as long as you like this evening, but she is very fragile," the small tanned woman spoke with a gentle smile she turned to leave, Miranda cleared her throat.

"Nurse. She was beaten?" there came a nod in response. Miranda lowered her eyes to the floor and the nurse left.

There were a few moments of silence, bar the obsessive bleeping of the machines. Andrea was sleeping peacefully. Miranda felt far from it. The girl was pale, gaunt. Her lips had turned to faint pink, her eyes seemed framed in dark on her face. If this is what she envisioned death as, then she didn't want to think of that again.

The older woman sat down in the chair next to the bed, the wooden armrests digging in her side as she leaned across the bed cautiously, gently taking Andy's hand in hers again vowing to herself that she was never going to let go again.

"Please don't leave me again Andy," the silver haired woman closed her eyes resting her head on the bed as tears escaped from under her lids. She spoke Andrea's nickname for the first time, hoping it wouldn't be the last. Regretting all those horrid things she'd said and done in the past. "I don't think my withered heart could stand it. I need you with me, I want to give you everything, everything in my power to see you happy again. Your smile keeps me going."

_**A gentle kiss.**_

_**The medicine to cure my pain.**_

Miranda awoke in a cold sweat on her bed. Her chest heaved dread. It was the same moment over and over again that had a habit of replaying itself in her mind, in her dreams. Nowhere was sacred any more.

"That day … that dreadful day," she muttered running a hand through her hair. She checked her bedside clock, the LED numbers glaring into her tired eyes '4:07am'.

Her legs carried her to the bathroom where she threw up for around the sixteenth time that past couple of days. Nothing was as it used to be any more. The girls were still at their grandmother's. Runway had stopped running this week, no longer the priority. Her driver Roy was staying in her spare bedroom, and Miranda hadn't stopped feeling nauseous since this exact time two days ago.

"_I'm never going t-to leave you. I'll always be with you," came a faint whisper from beside Miranda. She lifted her head and was pleased to see Andy smiling up at her. Her heart raced, her head span because Andy wasn't going to leave. Her Andy. Her Andy!_

"_I love you. More than I have ever known. Lord I've been so worried! I thought I'd never see that smile again," Miranda instantly beamed wrapping her arms around Andrea. She was positively glowing. So much so she hadn't noticed that the brunette was no longer pale. Her lips were crimson once more. She seemed more full of life than ever._

_Andy sat them both up on the bed, with unbound energy only minutes ago she didn't have. Miranda was so happy, she was blind to this, blind to notice that this wasn't some miracle. That maybe this meant the end._

"_I always wanted to tell you Miranda that I love you too. I always thought even though you never seemed to do so, you also had the prettiest smile when you did ...smile," there was a faint sigh, brown orbs looking toward the window, the night sky, "I pined for you for so long, I thought that maybe you had noticed me in Paris when you were crying, when I came to you. I-It seemed not. Every night I closed my eyes wishing you were lying by my side, hoping you would be in my dream that night."_

_Miranda recognised everything Andrea said, because she had felt it too at some point. She sensed her hand being grasped gently, "Work was not just a job for me, at first maybe but I made an effort everyday. I tried to stand out, to look beautiful for you. Sometimes I swore I used to catch you looking."_

"_I kept it all to myself. I didn't want to be a fool. Then tonight happened. I needed to get away from it all, I messed up huh? Please...don't tell me I'm your biggest disappointment, not again."_

_Miranda did not say anything. There was a lot of bad blood, but there was no words to make up for it. The air hung like thick fog around the pair and slowly the older woman leaned forward toward Andrea. Her lips a hairsbreadth away. So close she could feel the younger girl's breath on her face. But when she opened her eyes she wasn't there._

_**Listen to all of this glass shatter.**_

_**I pierced my ears and made them bleed.**_

_**Now sounds so beautiful.**_

Miranda could still hear the ringing in her ears. The ringing that meant:

"_No! No Andy...A-Andy...Andrea!"_

_Andy Sachs had died. It was all Miranda Priestly could do to cling to her body hysterical. After all her demands, her cold slightly vicious ways there was nothing she could so. Andy was in the hands of someone else now, and there was no bargaining not any more. _

_Miranda Priestly the woman of composure. The woman who showed no emotion had to be dragged from the ward by the same petite nurse, holding her thrashing arms back. Roy having to try and help restrain her._

_It was because Miranda Priestly the woman who was cold as ice. The Snow Queen who could never really love, had done. She loved yes she loved with all her heart only for it to be snatched away in the briefest of moments._

She sat back on the edge of the bed the room spinning around her, images still so fresh and new playing back and forth in her mind's eyes. She shivered as the tears that she thought had ran dry fell again from her cheekbones.

The funeral was later on in the day. Miranda wanted to be there but couldn't. Couldn't see her girl become like the rest. Like every other human. She didn't want the closure yet, not yet.

"Andy...my Andy. You were far from my biggest disappointment... you were my biggest hope."

_**Because you're beautiful.**_

_**You're beautiful.**_


End file.
